


Little Boy Green

by PrinceOfHell00



Series: Life With Papa!Sebastian and Little!Ciel [5]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Bathing/Washing, Blood and Gore, Caring Sebastian, Comforting Sebastian, Crying, Crying Ciel Phantomhive, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute Ciel Phantomhive, Diapers, Diarrhea, Dizziness, Doctor Agni, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fever, Fluff, Gen, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Headaches & Migraines, Little!Ciel, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nausea, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers, Papa!Sebastian, Poor Ciel Phantomhive, School Nurse Paula, Sick Ciel Phantomhive, Sickfic, Stomach pain, Stuffed Toys, The Author Regrets Nothing, Thumb-sucking, Vomiting, Worried Sebastian, alternate universe - littles are known, bottles, graphic nightmares, my poor baby, only in the nightmare tho, please beware if that squicks you out, so much crying, so much vomiting, spoon feeding, stomach flu, toddler!Ciel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22857496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceOfHell00/pseuds/PrinceOfHell00
Summary: Ciel wakes up sick, but instead of telling Sebastian and staying home from school to rest, he feigns being okay and goes to school anyway out of fear that he'll be taken to the doctor to get more shots. But there's only so far one can go pretending like they don't want to do nothing but puke their guts out and be cuddled in their papa's arms with their blankie and favorite stuffie.
Relationships: Sebastian Michaelis & Ciel Phantomhive
Series: Life With Papa!Sebastian and Little!Ciel [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1382725
Comments: 27
Kudos: 132





	1. No Doctors' Needed Here

**Author's Note:**

> I really didn't expect this turn into a chaptered fic. I thought it would just turn into a really long one-shot, but here we lmao. I swear, my stories really do have a mind of their own.

Sunlight hitting him directly in the face and the terrible pounding of his head, were the first two things Ciel registered when he woke up. He peaked his eyes open, but immediately shut them when the bright light intensified his already very painful headache. He buried his face in his baby blanket, letting out a low groan. Ciel pulled the baby blanket completely over his head. Maybe if he fell back to sleep for just a few more minutes, the pounding in his head would go away.

Just as Ciel was about to doze off again, he heard Sebastian's voice call out from downstairs.

"Ciel! Breakfast is ready!"

Ciel gave another groan, this one louder and slightly whinier than the last. Slowly, he sat himself up, baby blanket falling into his lap. His fingers kneaded at his temples, trying to give himself some kind of reprieve from the pulsating pain.

When it seemed like no matter how much rubbing he did was going to help ease the pain, Ciel stopped and slowly crawled to the edge of the large bed. His body felt heavy, and exhaustion clung to him like the web of a spider; stuck on, no matter how much you tried to shake it off. As the boy stepped off the bed and upright onto the floor, a wave of dizziness and nausea hit him all at once. He quickly sat himself back down, gripping the comforter tightly as his stomach twist and turned dangerously. After a few long, deep breaths, the dizziness passed, but the nausea barely eased up at all.

"This can't be happening... I can't be–ugh, ill," Ciel whispered hoarsely to himself, wincing as he gently wrapped his arms around his queasy belly as it gave another flip of displeasure.

He couldn't be sick, he just _couldn't_. If he was sick, then Sebastian would take him to the doctor, and that could possibly mean... _shot_ s.

Alright, so maybe he wasn't thinking all that logically, at the moment, and maybe his headspace was not too far away as it should be around this time of the week (littles were prone to easily regressing when they got sick–a really crappy aspect of being a little, if you asked him) and his little side managed to convince him that going to the doctor's meant there was a high chance of getting poked by more painful needles–but could you blame him? The last visit didn't exactly end with rainbows and puppy dog kisses (what it did end with, though, was him feeling a bit sick for a couple days after and having tender, sore arms). No way was he gonna take that chance, especially when he already felt so awful. Besides, maybe he would feel better by the time he got back from school later. All he had to do was keep Sebastian and everyone else from finding out. No big deal, he could definitely do that.

Okay, maybe he wouldn't be able to do this, after all.

Ciel stared in wide eyed horror at the kitchen table's set up, hand subconsciously drifting to lightly clutch at his stomach.

A full English breakfast was laid out on two plates, while the center of the table was covered in the same breakfast foods that resided on said plates–eggs, beans, sausage, toast, tomatoes, ham–the whole shebang. Honestly, how did Sebastian always manage to make so much food in such a short amount of time every morning?

Sebastian turned around from where he stood at the counter, making his usual morning coffee. Ciel quickly took his hand away from his stomach.

"There you are, what too–wait, why aren't you dressed yet?"

Crap. He'd been so focused on getting himself down to the kitchen without vomiting or falling down the stairs, that he completely forgot to get dressed.

"Oh, well, uh... I sorta... got distracted by a new gaming video that just came out this morning. I'm sorry." He looked down at the floor and ran a nervous hand through his bed tousled hair, hoping beyond hope Sebastian would believe his lie.

"Ah, I see. Well, it's alright, but just try not to make a habit of watching things in the morning on a school day, okay? Videos and shows will still be there after school, it's not worth being late to class for." The man turned back around to finish preparing his coffee.

Ciel internally breathed a sigh of relief as Sebastian lightly lectured him. He'd rather that than a trip to the doctor's any day, though.

"I understand, and I promise not to make it a recurring thing," Ciel replied, biting the corner of his lip.

He felt kind of bad for having to lie to Sebastian like this, but he felt as though he really had no other choice.

Ciel watched as Sebastian placed his mug of coffee on the table, before turning back and walking over to the refrigerator.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that." He looked back at Ciel with a gentle smile. "Now, what would you like to drink this morning, kiddo?" Sebastian asked, opening the fridge door.

Ciel inwardly cringed at being reminded that he had to eat and drink, otherwise Sebastian would become suspicious.

"Orange juice will be good, thank you," the boy replied, taking his seat at the table.

The minute Ciel sat down, he had to swallow back excess saliva that began pooling in his mouth when the smell of the food only intensified at his close proximity to it. He really hoped that maybe the vitamin C in the orange juice would hurry and help fight whatever it was his body was being plagued by (which was his reasoning for choosing the drink in the first place). It was worth a try.

"Here you are, darling." Sebastian placed the glass of juice next to the boy's plate. "Hurry and eat up, now. We have to leave by eight-forty the latest, if we want to get you to school on time and me to the bakery."

Sebastian took a seat opposite to Ciel, and quickly began tucking in to his meal.

With a silent prayer for him to please not profusely vomit on the kitchen table, to whoever may be listening, Ciel picked up his fork.

A few bites of everything later–each bite he took hitting his stomach like a cement brick–and Ciel felt more nauseated than he did before. Every little movement he made had his stomach sloshing its heavy contents, his body wanting nothing more than to be rid of the offending substances.

Ciel lifted his glass of orange juice and slowly drank the little bit that was left. At least he was able to finish that and his toast. But as for the rest of his plate, he had only managed to eat maybe four (small) bites at most out of everything else. Ciel did make sure to move around and mash up the remaining food, though, so it looked like he ate more than he really did. He thought he did a pretty good job at making the plate look mostly eaten. Until Sebastian called him out, that is.

"Are you feeling alright, Ciel?" Sebastian asked, voice and face shrouded in concern. "You barely ate any of your breakfast."

Ciel swallowed back a gag the orange juice almost caused him, hurriedly plastering (what he hoped was) a reassuring smile, and replied, "Yeah, I'm fine, Seb. Just a bit anxious to get to school. I uh, want to talk to Lizzie and Lin about the gaming video, see what they thought about it."

"Well, it must be a pretty good video if you're this excited about it." Sebastian smiled back, chuckling slightly as he got up and started gathering their dishes.

"Yup, it's really good. Really funny." The boy grimaced when his guardian's back was to him, in part because of the nausea, but also because of the guilt for lying.

"Then you better get a move on, darling. We'll be leaving as soon as I get these washed and the leftover food put away, so go get dressed and get your things together, please."

"Will do," Ciel replied, slowly lifting himself out of the chair.

He was grateful that Sebastian was still facing away from him, because the minute the boy stood up at his full height, another sharp wave of dizziness overcame him and he had no choice but to grab onto the table for support until it passed. After Ciel regained his balance he let go of the table, and gradually began to make his way back upstairs.

Somehow, getting _up_ the stairs was more of a struggle than going down had been. By the time Ciel made it to the top, he was out of breath and he could feel his stomach begin to cramp painfully. Ciel leaned up against the wall, wrapping his arms tightly around his midsection, biting his lip to keep his whimpers of pain from escaping.

Ciel blinked back tears when the cramping finally began to slowly ease up. He could feel his headspace creeping along the edges of his mind, making him second guess his decision about keeping his illness hidden from Sebastian.

"N-no, I'll be fine. I can be big. I don't need a doctor. I'm okay," Ciel quietly encouraged himself.

When he felt like his stomach wasn't going to twist and stab itself into oblivion, Ciel gently pushed himself off the wall and continued on his way to his bedroom to get ready for school.

It shockingly (though, not that he was complaining) didn't take as long as Ciel thought it would to get ready. Brushing his teeth had probably been the most challenging out of everything, what with the lingering dizziness making it hard to brush his teeth without feeling like he was going to fall over or gag with every small movement of his head (the headache he still had didn't help matters, either). He had tried closing his eyes while brushing, but it didn't make much of a difference. Still, Ciel was relieved that he didn't take as long as he originally thought he would.

After Ciel placed his schoolbooks into his black and navy lined backpack, he slipped the bag over his shoulders and walked back out into the hallway. As the boy passed by Sebastian's room, he stopped and stared at the unmade bed. Well, more like stared at the soft, warm baby blanket laying amidst the rumpled bedding. He could always take it with him, no one (with a brain and common decency, at least) would say anything if he did. But then if he went downstairs with the blanket cuddled in his arms, Sebastian would definitely become suspicious and ask him why he all of a sudden wanted to bring one of his little items' to school with him, when in just the few short months since the boy found out he was a little, he's never once shown any need for one of those items when anywhere out in public while big (which was an even bigger sign that his headspace was very close to the surface of his conscious). Unless he stuck the blanket in his backpack. He could keep it there for the school day and when he felt the need to, he could reach into the bag and feel out its comforting, softness.

With his mind made up, Ciel walked into the room and picked up his precious blanket. He slipped his bag off, unzipped it, and stuffed the soft item inside. Just as Ciel zipped up the backpack, Sebastian's voice called up from below the stairs, once again.

"Ciel! It's time to go!"

"Be down in just a minute!" He called back, slinging the bag back onto his shoulders.

Ciel lightly rubbed his nauseated belly one last time. He took a deep, slightly shaky breath, then walked back out of his guardian's bedroom.

Today was going to be long and miserable. He just hoped his illness wouldn't escalate any further than it already did–the last thing he needed was to vomit in front of the entire school.


	2. A Very Sick Little Boy, in Very Much Need of a Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long morning of trying to ignore his progressing illness and fight against his stomach's desperate need to be sick, while also trying to keep his little side at bay, Ciel can't take it any longer and surrenders to it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo this chapter was a pain in the ass to write! But I'm very pleased with it, so totally worth it lol.
> 
> Ciel's headspace: 2yrs

A nightmare. The rest of the morning had been, a nightmare.

No, scratch that; it had been _hell_. That was the best and only way to describe it.

For the entire car ride to school he'd been bombarded by constant dizziness and nausea that was only made worse by the moving vehicle. He wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and lean his head back against the car seat, but doing that would have meant drawing suspicion from Sebastian. Ciel was honestly surprised he hadn't thrown up the minute the car came to a stop in front of the school. Though, when he stepped out of the car the dizziness almost made him fall face first into the concrete. He luckily managed to grab onto the door before that happened, but not without Sebastian taking notice. Thankfully, though, Ciel was able to pass it off as him getting out of the car too fast and losing his footing–another close call averted.

The first two classes he went to hadn't been too bad, he could admit, but they still certainly weren't pleasant–what with his body deciding to add a fever to his already long list of growing symptoms. Tolerable, at the very least.

His third class on the other hand, had been _dreadful_. Within the first few minutes of Mr. Randall's lecture, the sharp, painful cramps came back with a vengeance; forcing the boy to brace himself forward against his desk, arms folded to give off the impression of him simply watching and listening intently to whatever it was the teacher was saying about the history of their country (he completely zoned out the minute his stomach was attacked by the sharp pains). And just his luck, the ever-stern teacher called on him to answer a question he hadn't even heard be asked, making Ciel feel humiliated (and feel more hot in the face than he already did) in front of the entire class when he couldn't do anything but try and sputter out an answer of some kind.

His classmates fell into chuckles when Mr. Randall lectured him about the importance of paying attention in class, causing Ciel even more humiliation as the chuckles turned into hushed whispers. For the remainder of history class, Ciel stood hunched in his seat out of both embarrassment and his still aggressively cramping belly, trying his best to ignore the snickers and quiet comments being made around him from his classmates.

By the time third period came to an end, the cramping did finally ease up again, but the boy was still left with a rising fever and the nausea and dizziness for his fifteen minute break time. Although he was able to meet up with Elizabeth and Sieglinde during his break, hanging out and talking with them only did so much to distract him from his progressing illness.

After break, the next three classes passed by at a slow, agonizing pace; the boy's symptoms growing stronger by the hour, making him focus even less during each class. There had even been a moment in sixth period where he thought for sure he would lose the battle against his churning stomach, and be sick all over his desk and classmate sitting next to him.

Now, he sat staring down at his lunch, feeling even worse than he had the entire morning. His head was now a constant throb in time with his heartbeat, the dizziness and nausea felt a hundred times more intense, and he was pretty sure his fever was slowly burning him alive from the inside out. Even worse, though, the pain in his stomach wasn't. Going. Away.

How was he supposed to eat any this greasy slop on this tray, when his stomach felt like it was ripping itself apart with the sharpest knife in all of existence? No way. Even if he got questioned about why he wasn't eating–screw it, he'd come up with something to throw the suspicion and worry off again. He was not about to risk projectile vomiting onto the table and all over his friends.

Ciel winced when a particularly agonizing wave of pain shot through his abdomen, biting his tongue and digging his nails into his jean clad lap to keep from whimpering.

He really wanted his blankie. Badly.

The boy glanced at the two girls sitting across him, making sure they were still engrossed in whatever it was they were talking about, before discreetly unzipping the backpack lying beside him on the table's seat. Ciel carefully sifted through his books until he felt the soft fabric. He brought the blanket closer to the bag's opening, just enough to not have to stick half his arm inside the bag to hold onto it.

Ciel rubbed the blanket between his fingers, relishing the way the soft material felt against his skin. His blankie always had such a calming and reassuring effect to it (given it was made by his mom, that was most likely the reason why), always managing to make Ciel feel a little less crappy in times like these.

"–Ciel?"

Ciel's head jerked up from his tray at the sound of his name, hand shooting back into his lap as if the backpack was set ablaze. "What was that, Lizzy?"

"I asked what you thought about the first 'Hunger Games' book so far. You said you were going to start reading it after school last Thursday, remember?" Elizabeth asked, smiling her usual bright, happy smile.

Oh, right. Now he remembered.

Elizabeth, Sieglinde and him had all agreed to try and read the 'Hunger Games' series before watching the first two films, and before the third one came out in November. Ciel meant to read the first book like he said he would after his homework on Thursday, but he ended up spending most of that evening stuck on maths (it was his hardest and most hated subject), and by the time he got done, his headspace had quickly descended upon him.

"Right, well I–"

Ciel abruptly cut his explanation off when his stomach gave an especially powerful lurch that made his mouth fill with saliva and a gag form at the back of his throat.

"It's okay if you didn't get far, we've still got loads of time until the new film." His cousin smiled reassuringly at him.

No, no, no. Ciel couldn't be sick here, not in front of his friends, not in front of everyone in the bloody _lunchroom_. He swallowed back the bile rising in his throat, trying to keep his breathing even and normal.

"Yeah, it's totally okay. I was only able to get through the first two chapters during the weekend, since I have to share Lizzy's. Wolf said I'm still too young for anything teen rated yet, but like the saying goes, what he doesn't know won't hurt him!" Sieglinde chuckled.

He wouldn't be sick, he wouldn't he sick.

"See, this is why I keep telling you you're going to be classified as a kitten–you're so rebellious and mischievous!" Elizabeth said, giggling.

He continued swallowing back the endless bile that wouldn't stop rising. Well, at least the attention was taken off him, for the moment.

"Does _everyone_ think I'm going to be a kitten? What if I turn out to be just a rebellious and mischievous puppy, instead?"

Don't be sick, don't be sick, don't be sick, _don't be sick_.

"Then you'll have proved us all wrong and will be the most adorable, rebellious and mischievous puppy we know. But just don't be surprised if your results come back with 'kitten' written in bright red ink at the top," the blonde haired girl sing-songed. "It's like when Ciel got his classification, everyone knew he would be a little, all the signs were there and obvious. Isn't that right, Ci–Ciel, are you alright?"

"Wh-what do you mean?" Ciel managed to say past the intense nausea.

"You don't look so well all of a sudden, is your food not going down right? It is a little more... well, disgusting today."

At least it wasn't just his ill self who thought the lunch was especially revolting today.

"You're starting to look a little green in the face, blau. What's wrong?" Sieglinde added with a concerned frown.

"I–" The gag he'd been holding back finally broke free from the boy's throat. He quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, hastily getting up from the table and running as fast as he could from the lunchroom.

Ciel could hear the concerned voices of both girls calling his name, but the boy knew if he stopped and tried speaking again, he wouldn't be so lucky in not vomiting the moment he opened his mouth.

The world spun rapidly around him as he stumbled his way through the (thankfully) deserted halls of the school, moaning as the nausea and urge to be sick only intensified as the seconds ticked by. His heartbeat sped up, and a cold sweat broke out over his burning body as he held back the inevitable with every little bit of strength he still possessed.

The boy almost sobbed in relief when he saw the restroom doors finally come into view. He slammed the door to the boys' open and ran into the first stall, not bothering to close it behind him as he scrambled onto his knees in front of the toilet, gripping the sides of the porcelain bowl tightly, before lurching forward and retching.

Because he hadn't eaten any of his lunch and had only managed a few sips of the boxed apple juice that came with it, and with the little bit of breakfast he'd eaten that morning having long since been digested, the poor boy was throwing up a disgusting mixture of juice and stomach acid. It burned as it traveled up his throat, and combined with the force of his heaving, made tears stream down his cheeks.

The pain in Ciel's stomach and abdomen kept increasing with every gag, heave and wet cough that left him, until it reached a horrifying conclusion. Ciel's eyes bulged as he felt a warm, wet sensation shoot out of his backside and into his pull-up (every little with a headspace between ages zero to four were required to wear one even when big, since they were still prone to accidents regardless of whatever headspace they were in at the time. For once he was grateful for that rule), burning just as bad as his throat as it kept coming. Ciel tried his hardest to stop the revolting flow, but it would only stop for a few seconds at a time, before resuming with each powerful retch. There was so much coming out, he could feel the pull-up begin to sag a little.

Ciel sobbed between each heave, bringing up whatever little bile his stomach could still provide. He felt so embarrassed, this was the first time he'd ever had an accident like this. Maybe a little bit of urine, every now and then, but never anything this major. Never anything... _messy_.

His stomach soon didn't have anything else left to expel (not even an ounce of bile), so he was reduced to harsh dry heaves. At least the awful diarrhea came to a stop for the moment, though.

Once Ciel felt his stomach come to a standstill, he fell back against the narrow wall of the stall, letting out a whimpering sob when he felt his pull-up squish uncomfortably against his bottom. The boy's body shook from exertion and fever, hair matted against his forehead, sweat poring down his flushed face. His stomach felt sore and tender with every breath and touch, but for the moment calm, and that's what mattered. He didn't know if he could take another bout of vomiting so soon after the last.

He felt scared. Scared that someone he didn't know or recognize would walk in on him like this and tell the entire school they found the one and only Ciel Phantomhive sitting in his own mess on a dirty restroom floor, covered in tears, sweat, and vomit. He'd be laughed at and made fun of for the rest of secondary school. Being a little would never give him a free pass on getting bullied by ignorant neutrals (in school or the world in general), if anything it would only give them more initiative to do so.

Fear combined with embarrassment and his illness, made the hold Ciel had on his little headspace give way, sending him spiraling into it hard _._

His lower lip trembled. He wanted his blankie, he wanted Blue, he wanted to go home, he wanted... _papa_.

Tears welled up in the little boy's eyes and spilled over, but before he could start sobbing, the sound of the door squeaking open made him clamp his mouth shut. The little's breath caught in his throat, and his heartbeat quickened in anxious terror, thinking it was a student who opened the door and was about to walk in and catch him in his most vulnerable state.

The little's fears were quickly diminished, though, when the soft, sweet voice of nurse Paula echoed through the restroom. "Ciel? Are you in here, dear?" Lizzy and Lin must have alerted her to his frantic exit from the lunchroom.

Ciel could only let out a sob in response, too overwhelmed and feverish to be more verbal, at the moment.

He heard the rapid footsteps of the nurse get closer, then watched as she stopped in front of the stall door, eyes full of sympathy and her delicate brows furrowed in concern as she took in his miserable form.

"Oh, you poor dear. I'm so sorry I couldn't get here sooner, I was out with some teachers for lunch." The nurse crouched down beside him, pushing his drenched fringe out of his eyes. "How long have you felt ill?" She gently asks him.

Ciel tried, really tried his hardest to come up with a better verbal response to the nurse's question, but his head hurt too much to think clearly, and he just felt downright yucky and exhausted. "W-wan' p-papa **.**..!" He wailed, breaking into loud, guttural sobs.

After nurse Paula managed to calm the little down with a stream of reassurance that his papa would be coming for him soon, she picked him up and she took him back to her office, where she wiped his face and mouth clean of sweat and leftover sick, and got him changed out of his messy pull-up and into an extra absorbent nappy. She also changed him out of his sweaty clothes and into a simple white t-shirt with a pink heart on the front, and a pair of elastic, navy jeans.

The little boy was now reduced to shuddering hiccups and whimpers, the occasional sniffle or stray tear escaping him, every so often. Ciel looked over at the nurse, where she stood in front of her beige desk, holding a mobile against her ear. Though, with her words being so soft spoken, while also being on the other side of the room, his fever addled mind couldn't understand what she was saying.

Soon enough, nurse Paula was back at his side, smiling gently at him as she spoke.

"Your papa's on his way, Ciel. He'll be here very soon."

"Papa?" He whimpered.

"Shh-shh, it's okay, I promise your papa will be here soon." Nurse Paula ran a gentle hand through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp as she did. "Try closing your eyes for a bit, little one. Some rest will do you some good."

Ciel sniffled, a few more tears escaping him–which were promptly wiped away by Nurse Paula's gentle hand–but the little did as suggested and rolled over onto his side on the black leather bed, tucking a thumb in his mouth and letting his heavy eyelids fall shut.

As Ciel came back into consciousness sometime later, he could hear two muffled and distorted voices above him.

" _–_ _checked... asleep... fever... 38.9..._ "

" _Take... d–or...soon as..._ "

The little slowly peeled his eyes open, sluggishly blinking them a few times to clear his fuzzy vision. Even after his vision cleared, though, the world around him still tilted around the edges, making his tummy feel queasy.

"Hello there, my little love. How are you feeling?"

Ciel's eyes completely snapped open when he heard the glorious sound that was his papa's voice. The little boy looked over his shoulder and saw the caregiver standing beside the bed, Nurse Paula beside him.

The little's eyes filled with renewed tears as he rolled himself onto his back again. "Papa!" He squeaked, reaching his arms out toward his papa and making grabby hands.

Papa cooed at him and picked him up, cradling him in his warm, strong arms. Ciel cuddled into the caregiver's chest, small fists gripping his papa's shirt tightly

"How do you feel, darling?"

"Yucky, papa," Ciel whined, closing his eyes and nuzzling against his caregiver.

"My poor little love. Have you been feeling ill since this morning? Is that why you didn't eat much of your breakfast?"

Ciel fidgeted, swallowing nervously. "Yes, bu'd thou'd i'd go 'way... you mad?" The little asked in a quiet, hesitant voice, slightly lifting his head away from his papa's chest and peaking up at him. He really hoped papa wasn't mad at him, he didn't know if his tummy could handle that right now if he was. It was already bad enough he felt guilty for lying to papa the way he did, he didn't need his tummy becoming so upset that he ended up being sick again (that was the very last thing he wanted, right now).

Papa sighed, but gave him a soft smile. "No, love. I'm not mad, just worried. I really do wish you would've told me this morning that you felt ill."

Ciel looked down guiltily. "I saw'ree, papa," he whispered.

"It's alright, love, I promise I'm not mad. Just please tell papa right away next time." Papa leaned down and kissed his forehead, making the little boy smile in relief.

Now the question was, though, would papa be taking him home, or to the dreaded doctor's. He really prayed it was home.

"Go home now, papa?" Ciel looked back up at his caregiver with large, shimmering puppy dog eyes.

Please say 'yes', please say 'yes', he repeated over and over in his head.

"We will, my love."

Yes! They were going home! No doctor and no scary, ouchy shots. Home where–

"After we make a visit to the doctor's. Your fever's much too high for my liking."

Ciel's heart dropped at those words. He couldn't go to the doctor, he _couldn't_. There'd be shots and possibly other scary, ouchy things that were used to make littles hurt!

"No... no, p'ease no, papa! I don' wanna go t'the doc'er, p'ease!" The terrified little exclaimed, voice quivering.

"You have to go, my love. We need to see exactly what's going on with you and see if there's any medicine you'll need to take to start feeling better soon."

"No, no! Don' wanna go, don' wanna ge'd sho'ds! P'ease, no!" The little sobbed, wrapping his arms around his papa's neck when the caregiver maneuvered him into an upright position, one of the man's arms' under his bottom and the other rubbing his back in big circles.

"Shots? Darling, no, you won't be getting any more of those shots. Is this why you didn't want to tell me you were ill?" 

"Yes! Don' wan' sho'ds, papa!"

"Darling, the doctor's just going to take your temperature, look at your throat, ask some questions, and do a couple other things. No shots, whatsoever."

"B-bu'd tha's wha' he did las' tiiiime!" Ciel wailed, tightening his hold around his papa's neck and trying to bury himself deeper into his neck, tears soaking the collar of the man's t-shirt.

"Baby, you don't have to worry about any more of those shots for a very long time."

Ciel took in a couple deep, shuddering breaths, trying to get control of his crying. "B-bu'd wha' i-i-if he s'ill gi'bes 'em t'm-me?"

"I promise he won't, my love, cross my heart. And papa never lies, right?"

Ciel shook his head. "N-never ever," he replied, calming down.

"Exactly, my darling. Never ever." The caregiver planted a kiss to the little's temple. "Alright, it's time to get going, love."

Ciel hiccupped, nuzzling his wet face against his papa's shoulder. " 'Kay," he mumbled, shutting his eyes and bringing his right thumb back into his mouth, his free hand gripping the neck of his papa's shirt.

Ciel listened as papa said 'goodbye' to Nurse Paula, thanking her (a second time?) for looking after him. He dozed as papa carried him out of the school, only blinking back into wakefulness when they reached the car. Ciel whined lowly when the sun's rays met his eyes, head pounding fiercely from both illness and his tears (there had been a lot of those today, so his head felt the equivalent to concrete being drilled by jackhammers).

Papa softly hushed him, rubbing a comforting hand up and down his shivering back, before buckling him in the backseat into his black and grey carseat.

"B'ankie?" He asked before papa could shut the door.

"I'm sorry, baby, but your blankie's back home."

"No," the little simply said, pointing to his backpack that was hanging off the caregiver's shoulder.

Papa looked confused, but pulled the bag off his shoulder and unzipped it, pulling out the multicolored pastel blanket. A sympathetic, slightly pained look shadowed papa's face as he held the item in his hand.

"Will you please promise me that next time you're feeling ill you'll tell me right away, love?" Papa asked in a quiet voice, giving his own set of sad, puppy dog eyes.

And he liked to ask where Ciel got his puppy dog eyes from–he got them from the one and only best, of course. He'd have to remind Papa of that next time the man brought it up.

Ciel nodded earnestly. "P'omise, papa."

The caregiver's face smoothed back into a more relaxed expression, smiling gently as he handed Ciel his beloved blankie.

Ciel gave a weak smile in return, taking the blankie in both his hands and hugging it close to his chest.

After placing the little's backpack on the seat beside him, papa shut the door close and climbed into the driver's seat, starting up the car and pulling out of the school parking lot.

Now that he was considerably less nauseous (though, far from being entirely nausea free) than he had been during the ride to school (and not pretending to be well, anymore), Ciel was able to let the car's movement lull him into a dreamless sleep, blankie pressed against his cheek and thumb firmly planted in his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "blau" - blue (pretty cute and fitting nickname Sieglinde calls him, huh? ^ ^)
> 
> Damn, I really put my poor baby through some pretty miserable stuff, didn't I? Welp, tis' the way a writer shows their love for their fav lolol. Anyway, hope ya'll thought it was worth the wait. Look forward to the next and final chapter, where we take a visit to doctor Agni and then get some fluffy caretaking from our Papa Seb. Also probably some more vomiting and messy diapers too, because I can't help myself lmao. X3


	3. My Whole World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After returning home from his visit with doctor Agni and getting diagnosed with the stomach flu, Ciel finally gets the love and caring attention he's been needing and craving all day. And despite his illness, the rest of his afternoon actually turns out pretty nice. That is, until two unfortunate incidents turn the little's evening sour (literally).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm late af with this update, and I apologize profusely for that, but my fucking God was this goddamn chapter a pain the ass to write. The writers block was fuckin' real, man. Like this thing had me so stressed, that no joke, last week I legitimately got an actual fucking nose for the first time in my life (tho thankfully it wasn't a gushing one).
> 
> But, even tho this story was absolute agony to write, I can proudly say that I'm very pleased with the outcome. And as you can see from the changed rating and added tags, it sorta took a dark, angsty turn lol. Buuut at least there's still that fluff I promised to add~!
> 
> So anyway, before we get into the story, I just wanna give a big thank you to every one of you who's stuck with me since chapter one of this fic. Seeing all your lovely comments about how much you've been loving and enjoying this it really has been a big motivator. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so patient with my sporadic ass. Hope ya'll enjoy the fic, and also continue to stick around for the rest of the series. <3

Ciel rested his head in the crook of his papa's neck, baby blanket wrapped around his shoulders, eyes heavy lidded as he sucked his thumb and listened to the doctor and his papa speak. The nap he had in the car seemed to barely make a dent in his exhaustion (though, it did seem to alleviate the tiniest portion of his headache, so that was something at least), if anything, it left him feeling more sluggish and dizzy than he already did.

"Well, it looks like young Ciel here has caught a very bad case of the stomach flu. Nothing plenty of rest and fluids can't help to aid in his recovery, though. This virus typically lasts no longer than one to three days, but the vomiting should subside in the next twenty-four hours or so," doctor Agni explained as he finished scribbling down what was probably some final notes into Ciel's chart, before setting it onto his desk. "And about the fever–since antibiotics don't work on viruses, and could even be potentially dangerous in these cases, the only type of medicine I can recommend to help control it is Paracetamol. I would also highly recommend Dioralyte to help with controlling the diarrhea, and to keep his fluids replenished," the doctor added.

Great, not only did he have the stomach flu, but now he also had to take yucky medicine, too? Just great, he thought bitterly. Well, at least papa had been right when he said doctor Agni wouldn't be giving him anymore scary, ouchy shots on this visit. That was definitely something to be thankful for, at least.

"I'll have to make a quick stop at the shops to pick up some Paracetamol, since the kind we have at home isn't meant for littles. But we should still have some Dioralyte packets left over from last time he was ill."

"Good, then that should be all. Just keep an eye on his symptoms these next couple days, and if they seem to get worse, or the vomiting and fever don't subside within the next five days, then please bring him back straight away," doctor Agni instructed.

"I most certainly will. Thank you so much for seeing Ciel on such short notice, Agni. I hope it wasn't too much trouble fitting us in," papa said, placing an arm under Ciel's bottom and the other around the middle of the boy's back as he stood up from the grey chair.

"It was no trouble at all, Sebastian." Doctor Agni smiled warmly.

"Oh, before we go, do you happen to have any spare dummies? I don't want him to become anymore ill by sucking his thumb, but I don't want to just take it away without the proper substitute."

"Of course, I always keep a small stash of them in my desk in case of an emergency," doctor Agni replied with a soft chuckle. He rummaged through the right side of his desk, until he found and pulled out a white and lilac dummy with a dark purple dragon breathing fire on the shield, and handed it over to papa.

"Thank you, Agni. This experience has certainly taught me to keep the essential items of Ciel's headspace in the car, just in case of situations like today."

"No problem, my friend. And I as well had to learn a slightly similar lesson with my little in the beginning, too. A very wet and pull-up-less lesson, to be exact."

Both caregivers broke into short chuckles.

"Alright, love, here you go." Papa gently removed the little's thumb from his mouth and replaced it with the dummy. "There, that's much better, hm? Yes, yes it is," papa cooed sweetly.

Ciel smiled sleepily around the dummy, wrapping his now free arm around his papa's neck. Ciel began slipping in and out of sleep again as papa and doctor Agni said their final 'goodbyes', before completely drifting off just as papa walked back outside and towards the parking lot.

After a quick trip to the shops for the (yucky) Paracetamol–which Ciel slept through for the most part, only startling awake when there had been a loud crash somewhere inside (though, papa had quickly soothed his fear induced tears, allowing him to fall back asleep shortly after for the remainder of the shopping and car ride)–they finally made it back home.

Ciel fussed as papa laid him down on the changing table in his nursery, and began to undress him. He peaked his eyes open to see papa putting him into a beige, short-sleeve onesie with tiger faces littering the front and back of it.

"Shhh-shhh, shh. It's alright, love, almost done. We'll have you nice and cozy on the sofa downstairs with blankie and Blue soon. Then papa's going to make you something light for your tummy so you can take some medicine for your fever," papa said as he buttoned the last button on the bottom of his onesie.

"Nooo, don' wan' yucky med'cine, papa," Ciel whined, slightly squirming as the caregiver lifted him back into his arms.

"You have to, my love, we need to bring that fever of yours down before it can get any worse," papa responded as he walked over to the crib and reached inside to grab the soft, gray bunny sitting in the corner. "I even got it in cherry flavor, since I know how much you enjoy cherry flavored things," papa added with a kind smile, handing the stuffie over to Ciel.

"Don' wan' it," the boy muttered, words muffled from having his face pressed against his stuffie and because of the dummy still lodged in his mouth. Just thinking about eating or drinking anything was making his tummy twist and turn.

"How 'bout we make a small deal, love," papa began as they started their way down to the sitting room. "If you promise to eat just a few bites, _and_ take your medicine, papa will sit and watch whichever one of your favorite films you want to see, as many times as you want. How does that sound?"

That did sound like a pretty good deal, Ciel thought. But it still wasn't quite enough for him to agree and accept, just yet.

"F'ree, 'stead? As many times I wan'?" Ciel asked, removing his face from Blue and looking up at the caregiver, puppy dog eyes firmly in place.

Papa chuckled. "That sounds fair. Do we have a deal then, love?"

Ciel nodded his head. "Dea'yl."

Once they reached the sitting room, papa laid him down on the long sofa, before telling Ciel he would be right back with some blankets and a couple extra pillows from the linen closet. When the caregiver returned he had an armful of cotton blankets, and two medium-sized pillows on top of the small mound in his arms. Papa arranged the two pillows behind his head and back, supporting his body in an upright position. He then covered the little's lower body with one of the blankets, and set the other two onto the armchair that sat to the sofa's right.

"Comfortable, love?" Papa asked, sitting next to him on the edge of the sofa.

Ciel hummed, nodding.

"Good, I'm glad. I'm going to go prepare you something to eat now, then, okay?"

Ciel admitted a low whine, but replied in a quiet, resigned tone, " 'Kay, papa."

"You'll be alright, my love. Some food will do your tummy some good. Would you like papa to put on some cartoons for you while you wait?"

"Ye'sh, p'ease."

Papa turned on the telly, switching it to the CBeebies channel where an episode of 'The Adventures of Spot' was playing.

Ciel curled up on his side to face the telly, Blue and blankie clutched to his chest, dummy gently bobbing between his lips as he let the spotted puppy on the screen distract him from any thoughts related to food or medicine.

Just after Spot found his mummy during his birthday game of hide-and-seek, papa came back into the room with a wooden tray grasped between his hands; a bowl of something steaming resided on it, along with a small plate of crackers beside it, as well as both a powder blue bib and Mickey Mouse sippy cup with a yellow and red top.

"Here we are, darling. Soup, crackers and water should be easy for your tummy to handle right now." The caregiver placed the tray over Ciel's lap, gripping the little boy under his arms and raising him back into a sitting position. Ciel whined and pouted when papa took his dummy out of his mouth, staring longingly at it as he watched it be placed on the coffee table. "I promise you can have it back as soon as you eat and take your medicine, my dear."

Ciel's pout only grew more pronounced at his papa's words. He looked down at the bowl, seeing it was filled with chicken broth. Ciel glared half-heartedly at the golden broth, tummy twisting anxiously, causing nausea to settle in once more.

"Just a few spoonfuls and sips of water, my darling, that's all. You don't have to finish all the crackers either, two at most would be just fine."

Papa also set aside Blue and blankie on just the other side of himself–still close by, but far enough away so they wouldn't get dirty and need to go in the 'Washer of Doom'–then snapped the bib around the little's neck.

Before his papa could sit back after snapping his bib in place, Ciel picked up the spoon lying on the other side of the bowl, and thrust the yellow and white utensil into his papa's face. "Papa do it. P'ease."

The caregiver's eyes widened and blinked a couple times at the utensil almost touching his nose, before he chuckled a little and gave the boy a nod. "Of course, my little love."

Papa took the spoon in hand, dipping it into the warm broth and blowing on it before bringing it to the little's lips. Ciel opened his mouth just wide enough to receive the spoonful, anxiously holding it in for a few prolonged seconds, before gathering enough courage and swallowing down the chicken flavored liquid. He felt it as it hit the bottom of his tummy, but this time instead of automatically feeling like he swallowed a bag of heavy rocks, or feel like he was about to throw up, a pleasant warmth ingulfed his tummy.

Even after that first bite, though, he still really didn't feel much of an appetite. But the little knew his papa wouldn't be happy with him trying to get out of eating anymore after only one mouthful, so when papa dunked the spoon back into the bowl to retrieve the second spoonful of the golden liquid–though, not before praising the little for doing such a good job eating the first–Ciel obediently opened his mouth for it, and for the next few that came after.

After half of the soup had been eaten, along with three out of the six crackers on the plate, and his sippy entirely drained, Ciel turned his head away from the next spoonful his papa held out. "No mooore," the little whined. He didn't feel sick like he did after breakfast, but he knew that if he tried finishing off the rest of the broth and remaining crackers, he'd sorely regret it.

"Okay, love, no more," papa agreed, setting the spoon down. "You did so well eating and drinking as much as you did. I'm very proud of you, sweetheart."

Ciel smiled slightly and gave a tiny, happy wiggle at his papa's continued praise (those praises he received were a really big help, and honestly were probably the only reason why he'd been able to finish almost all his food).

Papa unsnapped the bib and set it down beside the half-eaten bowl, before then lifting the tray off of Ciel's lap. "I'll be back with your medicine, love," papa said, heading back to the kitchen.

Ciel slowly leaned himself forward, being as careful as possible to not upset his tummy or dizzy head, and grabbed a hold of his bunny and blankie, bringing them close to his chest again as he waited for his papa to return. The little didn't need to wait much more than a couple minutes, though, before papa was walking back into the room; this time carrying a plastic syringe filled with a pink liquid.

He gulped nauseously. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Alright, darling, time for your medicine," papa said, smiling gently at Ciel as he retook his seat on the edge of the sofa, close to the little boy.

The little whimpered, hiding his face behind his blankie and pressing himself further into the pillows behind him, wishing they could swallow him into a world where awful, yucky medicine didn't exist.

"Now, now. We made a deal, now didn't we, darling? You eat something _and_ take your medicine, then papa would sit with you and watch three of your favorite films as many times as your heart desires. So, will you be papa's good boy and take your medicine so that icky fever can go away soon? I promise we'll put on one of the films as soon as you do."

Ciel peaked a blue eye out from behind the pastel blankie, cautiously eyeing the syringe of pink grossness. "Watch Toothless firs'?" The little asked in a soft voice.

"Yes, love, we can most definitely watch Toothless first. But you have to take your medicine before we do, alright?"

Ciel nodded meekly, taking his blankie away from his face, but still keeping a tight grip on it with both hands on his lap.

The boy let his mouth fall open slightly, cringing when the goopy medicine flowed over his tongue and down his throat when he had no other choice but to swallow the fowl liquid (lest he choke and make things worse). He made a noise of disgust once he finished swallowing it. Whoever created this supposed "cherry" flavor, must've gotten confused and mistook the taste of poison for the taste of cherry, because that did _not_ taste like any cherry flavor Ciel's ever had in his entire life.

"Good boy! That wasn't so hard, now was it, sweet boy?"

"Uh-huh! Yes was! Tha' was'n cherry, s'poison," Ciel replied, giving the caregiver a slight glare. He'd like to see his papa try taking that yucky stuff without thinking the same thing.

"I do suppose cherry flavored medicine probably doesn't come close to tasting the same as an actual cherry. Even though it may not have tasted the best, it will still help make you feel better in end," papa said, smiling warmly at him. "And now that that's all done and taken care of, we can begin our little film marathon like papa promised."

Papa switched the telly from CBeebies to Netflix, and after looking through their list and finding the first film of Ciel's chosen three, papa clicked 'play' on the thumbnail picture of Hiccup riding Toothless. While the film started up, papa made a quick dash back into the kitchen to rinse off and put away the plastic syringe, before returning to cuddle up with Ciel while they watched the movie.

They stood like that for the next couple of hours, Ciel cuddled up to his papa's side–Blue wrapped in his arms, blankie back around his shoulders, and dummy back in his mouth–with papa's fingers carding through his hair. After 'How to Train Your Dragon' came to an end, the next movie to be put on was 'Toy Story 2'. Right around the scene where Woody tries to get his torn arm back and escape from the evil (anybody who stole someone else's toys was nothing but an evil jerk in Ciel's eyes) toy collector, the sleepy, exhaustion Ciel felt earlier began to creep back up on him, making his eyes start to droop. He fought through it, though, determined to stay awake and finish watching the film.

The little did manage to accomplish that feat, yawning and rubbing his eyes the rest of the way through the film, but still managing to see all the toys–old and new–return home safe and sound to Andy. Papa having taken notice of him fighting to stay awake, asked him as soon as it ended if he would like to take a nap for a little while. But Ciel shook his head 'no' and pleaded to the caregiver that he could stay awake for the next and final film, then take a nap afterward. The little could see his papa was hesitant about agreeing, but in the end–after he may or may not have given the man another set of puppy dog eyes–gave in and put on Ciel's final film choice; Pinocchio.

Not even half way through the movie, though, Ciel lost the battle against his ill body's need for sleep. He slumped further against his papa's chest, eyes falling shut and breathing evening out as the noise of the film faded away into silence, and the familiar darkness of sleep consumed him.

_Ciel_ _sat on the lush, green grass of a park,_ _humming quietly_ _to himself as he set up his small, white and blue wooden dollhouse. He stopped what he was doing, though, and curiously turned his head towards a near by row_ _of_ _bushes when he heard the leaves begin to rustle. In the blink of an eye, a huge, black and white_ _husky_ _ran out of the greenery, tongue hanging out of its mouth with an excited look on its face as it bounded straight toward him._

_Ciel let out an 'oomph' when the big dog knocked him onto his back, admitting a_ _squeak_ _, before breaking into giggles when the husky began enthusiastically licking his face. The little ran his hands through the husky's soft, shiny fur, feeling happy and content to have a new friend to play with._

_Then all of a sudden, the husky stopped its enthusiast licking. The once overly excited dog's eyes widened_ _and filled with terror,_ _backing away slowly as if any sudden movement would mean the end of its life_ _. Confused_ _but also worried, Ciel tried reaching out to the poor creature to comfort it, but the already petrified dog only let out a high pitched yelp in response, before turning and racing back into the bushes._

_Ciel stood up from the ground and stared at where the husky disappeared to, feeling hurt and confused by what just happened. He didn't understand why the dog was suddenly so afraid of him, when it had been so loving and happy just seconds ago. Before Ciel could continue pondering on the question in mind and make himself more sad, he heard the sound of someone making their way towards him, grass softly crunching beneath the person's feet. For some reason–which Ciel couldn't quite pinpoint why–all of a sudden a feeling of dread washed over him, and a chill ran down his spine as the footsteps grew closer and closer to him._

_When the mysterious stranger came to a stop just mere inches behind him, Ciel shuddered, fear making his body tense up and freeze in place. He didn't want to turn around and look, it felt like if he did, he would end up seeing something he didn't want to. But he also didn't want to run and possibly end up being chased by whoever, or whatever, this was. Either way, his options on what to do weren't so great._

_After a couple of uncomfortable and fearful minutes of silently mulling over what he should do, the boy finally made his decision._

_Slowly, at a snail's pace, Ciel turned around. What the little saw, made his eyes widen and his heart drop into his belly, blood turning ice cold in his veins._

_Standing in front of him was his papa, but instead of being greeted by the caregiver's usual smiling face, his mouth was turned down and set into a deep frown, and his usual bright eyes were now dull and lifeless looking as he stared down at Ciel. That wasn't what had the boy quaking in fear, though_ _._

_Dark b_ _lood was splattered_ _all over the man's clothes, certain_ _patches of the fabric so drenched they clung to his body like paste. But the worst and most horrifying feature of the caregiver, was the right side of his head: Half of his scalp was mangled and hanging off, the dull pink of his brain visible through the carnage, as endless blood gushed out from the open wound in rivulets down his sickly pale face._

_This... this couldn't be his papa. This couldn't be real._

_"Y-y-you're n-not my p-papa," Ciel whispered in a breathy, shaky tone. He managed to take a few steps back, before his limbs once again became paralyzed_ _by fear._

_"_ _**Of course I am,** _ _darling_ _**. Or at least, I used to be, until you selfishly got me killed,** _ _" his pseudo-caregiver said, his voice sounding garbled and rough–like as if he swallowed a handful of glass shards._

" _N-n-no, I-I-_ "

" _Yes, you did!" He hissed venomously, face contorting into a look of pure hatred._

 _"B-bu'd I d-d-didn'! I'd never ever,_ ever _do tha'!" Ciel exclaimed, lip trembling as hot tears began rapidly flowing down his face._

" _ **Never, hm? Well, what about your parents? If it hadn't been for you, maybe they'd still be alive.**_ _You_ _ **got them killed! All because poor little baby couldn't deal with mummy and daddy being away for more than a few hours without becoming a pathetic mess. And now look, you don't have a choice but to be without them for the rest of your miserable life.**_ _"_ _The monster–because this most certainly was_ not _his papa–chuckled darkly._ _"_ ** _What a hilarious irony._** _"_

_"_ _**My God–l** _ _**ook at you, you're just a useless little baby who does nothing but whine and cry every chance he gets. You're a burden, a** _ _waste_ **_; both to those around you, and to all of society in its entirety._ ** **_Truly pathetic indeed._ ** _" It sneered, starting to walk toward Ciel again._

_"N-no, sh-shu'd up... y-you're wrong!" Ciel shouted through his tears, regaining the ability to move and frantically starting to back away from the grotesque monster._

_The little yelped when his back hit the rough bark of a tree_ _,_ _trapping him with no way to go–lest he risk putting himself into even greater danger. Something told him that no matter how mangled this monster looked, he wouldn't be able to outrun It._

_"_ **_You just don't want to hear the truth be spoken, because deep down, you_ ** **_know_ ** **_it to be so. You're the reason dear old mummy and daddy are dead, and soon I'll be dead right along with them, too. It's really only a matter of time, given how selfish you are. Such a worthless, and pathetic, little_ ** _brat_ **_,_ ** _" It spat, finally reaching his trembling form that stood against the large oak tree._

_Ciel was gripping the_ _bark_ _so tightly, that his hands began to splinter and bleed, causing him to whimper at the stinging, burning sensation that began spreading across his fingers and palms. His heart was beating so fast, he swore he was going to see it come flying out of his chest any minute._

_"_ ** _Oh no, did the poor baby hurt himself?_** ** _Come let papa take care of you,_** " _the monster cooed in a sickeningly sweet tone. It opened up Its arms in a way that_ _was_ _supposed to look inviting, but instead only managed to make the creature look even more terrifying with_ _Its blood soaked clothing and body. "_ _ **By putting you out of both our miseries.**_ _" It grinned manically, eyes sparkling with malicious intent._

_"No! Ge'd 'way from me, you're no'd my papa!' The boy shrieked, pushing himself back further against the tree in a futile attempt to somehow magically meld through the bark._

" ** _Easy_** _ **, now. There really is no point in resisting, Ciel. You're a little, you're**_ _weak_ _ **.**_ _**W**_ _ **hat could you possibly do to stop me? Oh, that's right. Ab-so-lute-ly nothing!**_ _"_

_The next thing Ciel knew, a large silver knife materialized out of thin air and into the monster's left hand. The little's breathing sped up rapidly, heart beating wildly in his throat as he stared intently at the sharp knife, body shaking so hard his teeth began to chatter._

_"_ _**I'd say it was nice being your caregiver, but that would be a lie.** _ _"_

_The horrifically grinning creature raised the knife to the Ciel's throat and_ _–_

Ciel jolted awake with a scream, tears and sweat pouring down his face, breath coming in short gasps. He felt like he'd been dunked in a pool of cold water, and his belly was beginning to hurt and feel sick again.

He whipped his head back and forth, taking in his surroundings. No park, no dog, and no monster, pseudo-caregivers in sight. He was home. Though, a very eerily dark and silent home (which was not making him feel any better). There was a hint of light showing through from behind the closed curtains, but it didn't illuminate much in the room (that meant the sun must barely be setting, then), allowing him to only make out the faint shapes of his blankie, dummy and stuffie lying on different sections of the floor. He must've been thrashing and they got flung off in the chaos of it all. Now they were too far away from him, and in his current fearful state of mind, he didn't have it in him to try to get up and retrieve them.

"Ciel?!"

Ciel's head snapped to the sitting room's entrance when he heard his papa frantically call his name.

"What happened? What's wrong, darling?" The caregiver asked, quickly at his side.

Ciel could only stare in silence at the man hovering over him, taking in his concerned features and gentle spoken words. Even with his illness making itself known again, and the pseudo-caregiver's words from his dream still echoing loudly in his head–accompanied by the usual lingering fear and panic coursing through him–he felt a sense of relief wash over him. It was just him and his papa here–his _real_ papa.

Still, he hadn't had a dream as horrific as that in months. Combine that with him being severely ill, and you had yourself a perfect recipe for 'Overwhelmed Little'. No amount of relief at the moment would be enough to keep the boy from breaking down.

Ciel's breath hitched, his crystal blue eyes filled up with fresh tears, and his throat began to painfully constrict. "N-n-n-nigh'-nigh'mare...!" He choked out, before breaking into wailing sobs.

"Oh, my poor little love. It's alright, it's alright, papa's got you, my darling."

Papa gathered him up into his arms, running a soothing hand through his sleep tousled hair, and the other rubbing big circles up and down his back.

Instead of immediately relaxing into his papa's arms like he usually would, though, the little tensed up when a tsunami of vertigo crashed into him, causing saliva to fill his mouth as intense nausea followed right behind it. He quickly clamped his mouth shut, abruptly ceasing his sobbing.

"You're burning up again, love. No wonder you had a nightmare." Papa sighed. "You aren't going to be due for another dose of Paracetamol for another two hours though, so–sweetheart, what's wrong?" Papa asked, catching on to Ciel's abrupt silence.

Ciel could only lightly shake his head against the man's shoulder and let out a choked whimper in response, the looming threat of throwing up making him too afraid to speak.

"Can you tell papa what's wrong, love?"

The caregiver gently pulled the little away from him, holding him at arms length and staring concernedly at him as he waited for a verbal response.

Ciel's sensitive tummy lurched at the movement, and suddenly his mouth wasn't just filled with excess saliva, but now also with a sour tasting liquid. Without any warning to his papa, a stream of watery, murky brown vomit spewed from Ciel's mouth, splattering the front of the caregiver's shirt.

"Oh, shi–okay, okay, it's alright, love."

The boy's eyes were blown wide, looking glassy from both fever and tears. Vomit ran down the sides of his mouth, dripping onto his onesie. It took Ciel a moment to fully register what happened, but once he did, the little boy's face crumbled and his sobbing resumed; volume magnified as his wails reached the well known level of "Ear Shattering Cries".

"Oh, baby. Shh-shh, I know that was scary, love, but you're alright. Come, let's go get cleaned up and changed."

Papa stood up from the sofa, holding Ciel against his hip, trying to keep him as far away from the man's soiled shirt as much as possible.

Ciel's stomach gave another powerful lurch, this time accompanied by a sharp pain that shot through his abdomen. Ciel gripped the collar of his caregiver's shirt tightly between his fingers, and if even possible his cries increased to an even higher volume.

"I know, baby, I know. You must feel so awful right now." Papa once again started rubbing his back as they began making their way out of the sitting room. "We'll have you nice and clean in no time, sweetheart. Then it's into bed for the rest of the evening."

The nausea once again began building drastically with every tiny jostle and movement, causing that same sour taste to return. He opened his mouth to try and warn the caregiver this time, but just like what happened moments ago on the sofa, his stomach couldn't hold on to its contents long enough for him to get even a single word out. A wet cough that turned into a gag left him, followed by another bout of watery vomit, this time spilling down the back side of his papa's shirt, before hitting the wood floor of the hallway with a sickening splat.

"Oh, love." The caregiver sighs, continuing to rub the little boy's back.

"S-s-saw'r-reeee!" The little wails when his second round of vomiting comes to an end, chin resting on his papa's right shoulder.

"No, no, my little love, there's no reason for you to be sorry. You can't help that you're ill. Do you feel like you'll be sick again?"

Ciel whimpered and nodded, swallowing heavily around the returning nausea.

"Do you think you can make it to the loo?"

Ciel shook his head, groaning as another wave of pain and nausea overcame him.

"Okay, okay–that's okay, love. You can just let it all out here, sweetheart, it's okay."

"Ngh, b-bu'd d-d-dir'dy.

"It's okay, love, really. Clothing and floors can easily be washed. I promise it's completely fine, baby."

Even with his papa's reassurance, Ciel still felt hesitant and wrong about it. Yet still, his resistance was no match for his ill body's need to expel what little food he ate just a few short hours ago. He retched hard over his caregiver's shoulder, the murky brown sick making a return, before being followed by a somewhat more solid and chunky version; speckling the wall as it splattered into the growing puddle of revolt.

"That's it, darling, let it all out," papa softly encouraged against his temple, continuing to rub his back and whisper soothing words to him as he threw up.

The next heave had his abdomen cramping up tightly, spasming relentlessly with each harsh retch. The feeling was all too familiar, and it made Ciel whimper and grimace, already knowing what was about to happen.

Sure enough, the boy's belly began admitting loud gurgling noises, and he felt the warm, wet sensation of diarrhea begin gushing out of him for the second time that day. It grew hotter and hotter as it heavily coursed out of him, burning him from the inside out. Ciel choked on a sob, coughing and sputtering until he brought up another mushy, watery portion of sick.

Eventually, after what felt like an eternity of misery, the little's stomach and bowels finally calmed. As soon as his body convulsed one last time with a final dry heave, Ciel collapsed against his caregiver, exhausted and breathing heavily, form quivering as if he just stepped in from a winter cold.

"Feel like you'll be sick anymore, love?"

Ciel slightly shook his head with a sniffle. He still felt sort of queasy, though it wasn't enough to send him into anymore violent barf sessions, for the moment.

"Okay then, little love, let's go get cleaned up."

It wasn't long before the caregiver had the little stripped of his puke streaked onesie, and out of his heavy, messy nappy. Once that was taken care of, papa took them into the bathroom, saying a quick bath would be best for the both of them–a cool bath to be specific, so it would help bring Ciel's fever down. After placing the naked boy down on the bathmat while he got the water set to the right temperature, papa stripped himself out of his own dirtied clothes, throwing them into the laundry bin that was tucked in the left corner behind the door. Once the water's temperature was to his papa's liking and the tub was filled, he scooped the little boy back into his arms and settled them both into the chilled water.

Ciel's shivering increased as soon as his body touched the surface of the water, whimpering and squirming in displeasure at the icy sensation encasing him. Somewhere in Ciel's mind he knew the water really wasn't as cold as it felt, but the very ill and little part of him that was currently in control of his conscious, was making him believe otherwise. His papa just pulled him close against him, pressing the little's back firmly and securely against the man's chest, whispering a mantra of calming words to the boy until he grew accustomed to the water and it didn't feel like he would turn into an icicle anymore.

The room fell into a comfortable silence, with the sounds of dripping and sloshing water from when the washcloth in his papa's hand was dipped and rung out (and Ciel's occasional sniffles) being the only sounds permeated around them.

Eventually though, now that Ciel's head wasn't clouded by nausea and pain, he asked his papa a question he had burning in the back of his mind since they where sat on the sofa after his bad dream.

"Papa?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Do... do you rea'yl'y y'ike bein' my papa?"

"Sweetheart, of course I do. What's made you think otherwise?" Papa questioned, sounding concerned.

Ciel hesitated, biting his lip as he carefully thought out his response. He still didn't like going into detail about his nightmares with his papa, especially the ones that were as terrifying and grotesque like the one he had that evening. The handful of times he has tried to explain and talk about those kinds of dreams out loud, would always end the same way. He would freeze up and the words would get caught in his throat, almost physically choking him as he tried to force them out. The frustration from not being able to say anything, combined with the usual fear and anxiety that came with his nightmares, would inevitably result in the little becoming even more inconsolable for an exceeding amount of time. That was something he really didn't need happening right now while he was ill.

The boy just gave a shrug.

A few seconds of silence passed by until–

"Does it have anything to do with your bad dream?"

He slightly tensed, but nodded mutely.

"Darling, I promise you that whatever it was that was said or done in your dream, it wasn't and never will be true. I love being your papa, and I love _you_ with all my heart."

Ciel swallowed the lump beginning to take form in his throat. "S-so, m'no'd p-pa'phe'ic or a b-burden?"

"Wha–Ciel, no–" Papa sets the washcloth down on the edge of the tub, and shifts Ciel around until the boy is sitting sideways on his lap–"You are not pathetic _or_ a burden. Never, and I mean _never_ , have I thought of you as either of those things." Papa lifts the little's chin up as he speaks, staring deep into the boy's eyes.

Papa's eyes were firm and intense, but they still also held a sheen of warmth within them.

"You are one of the strongest, bravest littles' I know, and that I have the great honor of calling my own. You've been through so much heartache in your short life, a heartache no child your age should ever have to know, yet you still do your best to get up everyday and continue living your life. You laugh, you smile, you love–regardless of the hardships you faced, and still continue to face in variation, you're still able to be a kid and enjoy life."

"As for being your caregiver, it's the greatest gift I've ever been given in my life. Yes, it was given in a very less than ideal way, and if I could change _how_ it was given, I most certainly would. But everything about being your papa always brings me such immense joy. To see a bright smile light up your face when we go out for ice cream, to hear your giggles and squeals of laughter when I tickle you, to watch you grow more and more comfortable and accepting of your little self with every drop into headspace–all of these things and more are what I love about being your papa. You're my whole world, Ciel. My precious little boy who I will always do anything and everything for to make sure he's happy, cared for, and loved. Nothing in this world could ever make me think or feel differently. I will love you forever and always, my darling Ciel."

Tears streamed down Ciel's face, and the second his papa let go of his chin, he nuzzled his face into the man's neck. The doubts caused by his nightmare were instantly eradicated by his papa's words. The caregiver's voice had been filled with such sincerity, every word that poured from him radiating that special, genuine love a caregiver has for their little. How could Ciel not believe him? His papa really did love being his caregiver (he really did love _him_ ).

"Y'ove you too, papa."

After taking a few moments just to sit and hold onto each other, the rest of the bath resumed and was finished up in no time. Once they were both well dried, papa took them into the caregiver's bedroom, where he sat the towel wrapped little down at the end of the bed. Papa quickly got himself dressed, before opening the bottom drawer of his dresser and pulling out one of the extra onesies he kept in there for situations like this or another. The caregiver then grabbed the spare nappy bag from under the bed and set it, along with the onesie, on top of the bed next to Ciel.

Once Ciel was changed into his new nappy and onesie, papa picked him up and placed him at the head of the bed, arranging him into a half-lying and half-sitting position, two large pillows on either side of him.

"I'm going to go clean up downstairs real quick, alright, my love? Then I'll be back up with your things and a bottle of Dioralyte."

Ciel let out a displeased sound. After what he and his poor tummy had been put through in just one day, the thought of drinking even something as simple as Dioralyte, was enough to make the abused organ twist with a thin layer of nausea.

"Don' wanna throw up 'gain."

"I can't promise that it won't happen again, darling, but you're still going to have to try drinking some of the Dioralyte. You've lost a lot of fluids today, so we need to get more into you as soon as possible. The bath helped lower your fever, but that doesn't mean you're still not close to becoming dehydrated," papa said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and tucking a small strand of loose hair behind Ciel's ear.

Ciel pouted, giving the caregiver his infamous set of puppy dog eyes in hopes he could persuade him into at least waiting a bit longer for the drink.

"Sorry, love, but this is nonnegotiable. The 'Puppy Face' won't be working here this time, I'm afraid."

That only made Ciel pout harder. Stupid human bodies needing fluids to live.

"A'righ'," he mumbled, scowling down at the comforter as if it was the fault for all of his current problems.

"Aw, look at that face. So grumpy and precious," papa cooed at him, caressing his cheek with a thumb. "I know you're scared, love, I would be too. After what you went through today, it's understandable why you are. Even though I may not be able to promise that you won't throw up again, I can promise that if it does happen, I'll be right beside you through all it just like before."

Papa pressed a kiss to his forehead, causing the little's lips to involuntary twitch up into a tiny smile.

"Oh! I just got an idea. Why don't I read you a story while you have your bottle? It could be a helpful distraction while you drink it."

"Don' haf'ta go t's'eep af'er?"

The little's nightmare still felt too fresh for him to be comfortable enough to go back to sleep anytime soon. He may have been ridden of his doubts, but he could still see that terrifying, disgusting monster every time he shut his eyes.

"No, little love, you don't have to sleep until you feel ready and comfortable to. The story will just be for fun, and to help you focus on something else while you drink your bottle."

"I wan' story then, p'ease."

"Is there any book in particular you want to hear?"

"Mmm, no'd sure. Papa pick."

"Alright, my love, I can do that."

Papa leaned in and gave his forehead one last kiss, before standing up from the bed. "Be back soon, baby."

As the minutes ticked by while he waited for his papa to come back, Ciel alternated between fiddling with the black comforter, and tracing the smiling hedgehog on the front of his onesie. It took a little longer than he liked–though considering how much of a mess the hallway downstairs had been (which made him flush with mild embarrassment and guilt remembering its horrific state), it was understandable that it would take some time to clean–but finally the caregiver returned, carrying the bottle, book, and all the other promised items. One item in particular, though, had the boy grinning and reaching out for it with renewed energy.

"B'yue!"

Papa handed the bunny over to him, chuckling when Ciel pulled it out of his hand with blinding speed and proceeded to bury his grinning face into the bunny's vest covered chest. Papa put the book and bottle down on the end table on his side of the bed, before climbing in beside Ciel.

Ciel looked up from his hug with Blue when he felt a soft fabric being draped across his neck and shoulders, catching the sight of a faded, familiar yellow star out of the corner of his eye. The little giggled happily when he recognized his beloved blankie, curling his hand around the edge that had the little star sewn into it.

"How's this book, love? We haven't read this one in awhile." Papa held out the chosen book for Ciel to see.

The cover of the book held a brown bear riding a bike with square wheels down a staircase, while a little yellowish bunny looked on at him questioningly from bellow the side of the stairs; the name of the book reading, 'Benjamin Bear in Bright Ideas!' Oh yeah, they hadn't read that one in a _really_ long time (or any of the others from the series either, for that matter). Ciel was even more excited to listen now, since papa always gave the characters amazing and funny voices. His papa was the best story picker ever!

"Uh-huh! Wanna hear this one, papa!" If Ciel could get away with bouncing up and down without his head or tummy badly protesting, that's exactly what he would have done. But doing something like that would definitely have to wait until he was better.

"Brilliant. Here's your bottle then, love." Papa smiled, holding out a pink rimmed bottle with light and dark pink confetti hearts printed all around the front and back.

Ciel set Blue in his lap, taking the bottle with both hands.

"Try to drink as much as you can, darling. Just remember to take it slowly."

Ciel gave a small, understanding nod. " 'Kay, papa."

The little brought the bottle closer to his lips, hesitating nervously for moment, before popping the nipple into his mouth. He took a careful drag, his mouth filling halfway with the water-like liquid, the flavor of blackcurrant washing over his taste buds. It wasn't a favorite flavor of his, but he didn't hate it or find it disgusting either, so it would do for now. He swallowed it.

"Not too bad, love?"

Ciel shrugged. "Eh."

Papa burst out into a short fit of laughter, making Ciel giggle a little along with him.

Once his laughter tapered off, the caregiver said, "I'll see if auntie Ann can bring over a couple of other flavors tomorrow after she gets out of work. Sound good?"

"Pink f'yavor, p'ease."

"Pink fla–oh! You mean the raspberry packets."

"Mhm, d'ose," the little responded around the bottle.

"Okay, love, I'll let her know."

Papa opened the first page of the book and wrapped an arm around Ciel, drawing him close. "Ready for the story, my little love?"

"Yes, p'ease."

Ciel leaned his head against his papa's chest, right over his heart so he could simultaneously listen to its steady and calming beat, and to the man's baritone voice as he read the story.

If Ciel could stay like this forever, here in his papa's warm embrace, listening to his voice and heartbeat for all of eternity, he would happily do so without a second thought.

Just how papa said Ciel was 'his whole world'–well, papa was Ciel's whole world, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we can all agree that any cherry flavored medicine is fucking disgusting and does in fact taste like poison, right? Because holy hell do I got stories from my asthmatic childhood about that horrific tasting shit lmao.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment *cough*theygivemelifeandmotivation*cough* and/or kudos if you enjoyed, and may you have a great day or night! ^_^


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